Cetmilsomjatfenfut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, benevolent bird.

Cetmilsomjatfenfut created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmilsomjatfenfut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cetmilsomjatfenfut, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cetmilsomjatfenfut's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cetmilsomjatfenfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about asteroids.