Tigfotgess is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring gerbil.

Tigfotgess created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfotgess, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tigfotgess, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tigfotgess' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tigfotgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

5. You must never eat grapes.