Yarmadmid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, conceited donkey.

Yarmadmid created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarmadmid, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarmadmid, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yarmadmid's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yarmadmid's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not take Yarmadmid's name in vain.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.