Vanstipyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking lobster.

Vanstipyarp created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Vanstipyarp, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vanstipyarp, it will be very unhappy.

Vanstipyarp's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vanstipyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Never paint your neck blue.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.