Janstafdotzensafdon is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, happy monkey.

Janstafdotzensafdon created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janstafdotzensafdon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Janstafdotzensafdon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Janstafdotzensafdon's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Janstafdotzensafdon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Janstafdotzensafdon on top of all buildings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Janstafdotzensafdon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.