Nabhadmig Kamorting is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful dryad.

Nabhadmig Kamorting created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Nabhadmig Kamorting, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nabhadmig Kamorting, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nabhadmig Kamorting's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nabhadmig Kamorting's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Hide if four moths approach from the north.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.