Tifwabwad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humane squirrel.

Tifwabwad created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifwabwad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tifwabwad, he will turn you into a frog.

Tifwabwad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tifwabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always obey Tifwabwad's priests.

5. Never jump in holy places.