Arfpomnulcin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient rat.

Arfpomnulcin created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfpomnulcin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arfpomnulcin, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Arfpomnulcin's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Arfpomnulcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Worship no other gods but Arfpomnulcin.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not covet oxen.