Arpteenrut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate giraffe.

Arpteenrut created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpteenrut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arpteenrut, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Arpteenrut's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Arpteenrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never paint your hands black.

3. Do not take Arpteenrut's name in vain.

4. Do not kill rats.

5. Do not shave your face.