Yambotqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciful crocodile.

Yambotqueeg created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yambotqueeg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yambotqueeg, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yambotqueeg's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yambotqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help grasshopers in need.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Hide from mauve doves for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.