Cebmipvan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous horse.

Cebmipvan created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebmipvan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cebmipvan, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cebmipvan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cebmipvan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cebmipvan.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Retreat if six frogs approach from the south.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away if five porpoises approach from the north.