Wodsasmit is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, smart giraffe.

Wodsasmit created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodsasmit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wodsasmit, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wodsasmit's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Wodsasmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands violet.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Do not shave your chest.