Fligsigcab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering snail.

Fligsigcab created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fligsigcab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fligsigcab, she will turn you into a plant.

Fligsigcab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fligsigcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fligsigcab.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Always help horses.