Yimsatnull is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful rhinoceros.

Yimsatnull created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Yimsatnull, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yimsatnull, he will turn you into a dog.

Yimsatnull's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yimsatnull's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yimsatnull.

2. Hide from blue aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.