Yarlankiptun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, fast goose.

Yarlankiptun created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlankiptun, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarlankiptun, it will destroy your home planet.

Yarlankiptun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarlankiptun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Never wear indigo scarves.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Always stare at clouds.