Cedkanpid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, witty cow.

Cedkanpid created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedkanpid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedkanpid, she will laugh at you.

Cedkanpid's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cedkanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cedkanpid first in all things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.