Geplamsogpom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, contented mongoose.

Geplamsogpom created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Geplamsogpom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Geplamsogpom, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Geplamsogpom's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Geplamsogpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always obey Geplamsogpom's priests.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.