Largcinceb is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody lizard.

Largcinceb created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largcinceb, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Largcinceb, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Largcinceb's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Largcinceb's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Never bounce in holy places.