Negpomtailnak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent guinea pig.

Negpomtailnak created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negpomtailnak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Negpomtailnak, he will not care.

Negpomtailnak's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Negpomtailnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide if seven grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Always take life seriously.