Mil is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, uncaring goat.

Mil created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mil, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mil, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mil's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Mil's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Mil.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.