Fitdusscibnan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, loving gorilla.

Fitdusscibnan created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitdusscibnan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fitdusscibnan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fitdusscibnan's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fitdusscibnan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Never think about amino acids.