Jarnrighan is a god.

It takes the form of a large, prudent human.

Jarnrighan created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnrighan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jarnrighan, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jarnrighan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jarnrighan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Jarnrighan on top of important buildings.