Hotster is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring toad.

Hotster created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotster, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hotster, it will ignore you.

Hotster's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hotster's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hotster on top of all buildings.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.