Jinwapton is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish squirrel.

Jinwapton created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinwapton, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jinwapton, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jinwapton's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jinwapton's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Always obey Jinwapton's priests.