Jatrotingdan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful gorilla.

Jatrotingdan created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatrotingdan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jatrotingdan, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jatrotingdan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Jatrotingdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jatrotingdan.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never sing near hamsters.