Ceptifnakgem is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful wombat.

Ceptifnakgem created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ceptifnakgem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ceptifnakgem, he will make you grow a tail.

Ceptifnakgem's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ceptifnakgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.