Stikmifgut is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, compassionate crane.

Stikmifgut created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Stikmifgut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stikmifgut, she will turn you into a dog.

Stikmifgut's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Stikmifgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never feed aubergines to squirrels while wearing green hats.

5. Erect three copper sculptures of Stikmifgut on top of important buildings.