Wablatmit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unfair cobra.

Wablatmit created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wablatmit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wablatmit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Wablatmit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Wablatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Always wear white.