Yimtargben is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, thoughtless crane.

Yimtargben created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yimtargben, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yimtargben, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yimtargben's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yimtargben's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always stare at clouds.