Xucnakbat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered hippopotamus.

Xucnakbat created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucnakbat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xucnakbat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xucnakbat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Xucnakbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Never skip near goats.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Erect three carbon sculptures of Xucnakbat on top of important buildings.

5. Do not sing in public.