Loopflyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humorless porpoise.

Loopflyarl created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopflyarl, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Loopflyarl, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Loopflyarl's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Loopflyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not chop down trees.