Tofflisgar is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever centaur.

Tofflisgar created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tofflisgar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tofflisgar, she will ignore you.

Tofflisgar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tofflisgar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must never eat turnips.