Citstandin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil bird.

Citstandin created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citstandin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Citstandin, he will turn you into a rat.

Citstandin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Citstandin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.