Govbonkwik is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing owl.

Govbonkwik created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govbonkwik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Govbonkwik, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Govbonkwik's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Govbonkwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide from red sharks for they are unholy.

3. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Govbonkwik on top of important buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away if eight great tits approach from the north.