Xemxuckem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic centipede.

Xemxuckem created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Xemxuckem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xemxuckem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Xemxuckem's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Xemxuckem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never bounce near shrews.