Kemjamrag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil duck.

Kemjamrag created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemjamrag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kemjamrag, he will laugh at you.

Kemjamrag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kemjamrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to horses while wearing magenta ear rings.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Kemjamrag loves voles, so they must be respected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about gravity.