Dumfarncin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent raven.

Dumfarncin created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumfarncin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dumfarncin, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dumfarncin's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Dumfarncin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide if seven seals approach from the north.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.