Veencanlinrul is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unselfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Veencanlinrul created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veencanlinrul, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Veencanlinrul, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Veencanlinrul's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Veencanlinrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veencanlinrul.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Run away if nine otters approach from the south.