Gumwonwik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, effective beaver.

Gumwonwik created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumwonwik, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumwonwik, she will turn you into a goat.

Gumwonwik's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gumwonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gumwonwik.

3. You must pray to Gumwonwik seven times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.