Wodnibcen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating narwhal.

Wodnibcen created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodnibcen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wodnibcen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wodnibcen's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Wodnibcen's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Wodnibcen.

3. Retreat if five ducks approach from the east.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always obey Wodnibcen's priests.