Fityarpfar is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy deer.

Fityarpfar created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fityarpfar, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fityarpfar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fityarpfar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fityarpfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.