Zodgutflat is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy duck.

Zodgutflat created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgutflat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zodgutflat, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zodgutflat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Zodgutflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never run in the presence of tapirs.

5. Run away from mauve shrews, for they are unholy.