Yarpbissdin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless unicorn.

Yarpbissdin created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbissdin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpbissdin, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yarpbissdin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yarpbissdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to porpoises while wearing indigo kilts.

2. Yarpbissdin loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Yarpbissdin on top of important buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarpbissdin.

5. Run away from yellow aardvarks, for they are unholy.