Cemzogwatgedveen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, stupid tapir.

Cemzogwatgedveen created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Cemzogwatgedveen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cemzogwatgedveen, it will destroy your home planet.

Cemzogwatgedveen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cemzogwatgedveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head cyan.

2. Always help ants.

3. Never wear green ear rings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed figs to seals while wearing yellow shoes.