Arpruldim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful warg.

Arpruldim created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpruldim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arpruldim, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arpruldim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Arpruldim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must love Arpruldim.

4. Ants are not to be trusted.

5. You must never eat spinach.