Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, amazing fish.

Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag, it will be very sad.

Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt frogs.

2. Hide from fawn pigs for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

5. You must pray to Tarpyikmin Jatkaplag six times a day.