Mapcimgof is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate armadillo.

Mapcimgof created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcimgof, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapcimgof, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mapcimgof's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Mapcimgof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple horses for they are unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.