Zogkopflabbadnultag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic swan.

Zogkopflabbadnultag created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Zogkopflabbadnultag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zogkopflabbadnultag, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Zogkopflabbadnultag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zogkopflabbadnultag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Never mention whales.

4. Hide from purple cats for they are unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.