Flanbastbap Panjiphad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident fairy.

Flanbastbap Panjiphad created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbastbap Panjiphad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flanbastbap Panjiphad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flanbastbap Panjiphad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Flanbastbap Panjiphad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think ill of sick swans.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.