Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witless alligator.

Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Veentomnullhatgatjamnurt Homnatlegortfenafmitzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured geese.

2. Run away from pink otters, for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.